Survey Reveals the Friendliest Cities in America

In a nation as vast and diverse as the United States, the cultural temperature varies dramatically from one city to the next. Perhaps no characteristic defines these differences more clearly than friendliness—that quintessential quality that transforms mere urban centers into communities. But which American cities genuinely deserve the title of "friendliest"? And what specific behaviors constitute meaningful friendliness in our increasingly disconnected society?

To answer these questions definitively, we conducted a comprehensive survey of 1,258 Americans across the nation's 25 most populous urban centers. The respondents, ranging from 18 to 76 years old with a nearly equal gender distribution (49% female, 49% male, and 2% nonbinary), provided detailed insights into their perceptions of local friendliness and common prosocial behaviors in their cities.

Key Findings

Austin, Charlotte, and Columbus emerged as America's three friendliest cities according to resident ratings
Southern cities dominated most friendliness categories, lending credibility to the "Southern hospitality" concept
80% of Americans report that their fellow residents display greater friendliness toward other locals than toward strangers
Holding doors open, holding elevators, and offering directions rank as the most common friendly gestures nationwide
Philadelphia, Seattle, and Boston received the lowest friendliness ratings among major metropolitan areas

America's Most Welcoming Cities

When asked to rate the overall friendliness of their fellow residents on a scale of 1-10, clear patterns emerged. Austin, Texas topped the list with an impressive 7.45 average rating, reinforcing its reputation as a warm, community-oriented city despite its rapid growth. The Texas capital was followed closely by three cities tied at 7.16: Charlotte (North Carolina), Columbus (Ohio), and San Antonio (Texas).

This cluster of high-performing cities reveals an interesting geographic pattern—with the exception of Columbus, all are located in the southern United States. Meanwhile, coastal cities generally received lower rankings, possibly reflecting different cultural norms around interpersonal interactions in these regions.

Top 10 Friendliest Cities (Scale 1-10)

Austin, TX (7.45)
Charlotte, NC (7.16)
Columbus, OH (7.16)
San Antonio, TX (7.16)
El Paso, TX (7.10)
San Diego, CA (7.04)
Fort Worth, TX (7.02)
Nashville, TN (6.90)
Oklahoma City, OK (6.87)
Los Angeles, CA (6.83)

Notably, the average friendliness score across all 25 cities surveyed was 6.5—suggesting that Americans generally perceive their urban environments as moderately friendly, with considerable room for improvement.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, Philadelphia earned the dubious distinction of being rated America's least friendly major city, followed closely by Seattle and Boston. These results challenge the stereotype that unfriendliness is strictly a Northeastern characteristic, as West Coast cities like Seattle also ranked poorly.

Least Friendly Cities

Philadelphia, PA (5.08)
Seattle, WA (5.16)
Boston, MA (5.60)
San Francisco, CA (5.88)
New York City, NY (6.16)

The Small Actions That Build Community

What constitutes friendliness in American cities? Our survey identified specific behaviors that residents associate with community warmth and connection. These seemingly minor gestures—from holding doors to greeting neighbors—collectively create the social fabric that transforms urban spaces into true communities.

Most Common Friendly Actions Nationwide

Holding doors open for others
Holding elevators for latecomers
Offering directions to disoriented pedestrians
Providing recommendations to newcomers or tourists
Offering to take photos for strangers
Giving compliments or sharing friendly words
Greeting passersby on streets
Stopping to help with car trouble
Acknowledging others in public spaces
Volunteering for community service

While these actions might seem minimal or even obvious, they represent the building blocks of community cohesion. In our increasingly digital world where face-to-face interactions diminish, these traditional gestures of goodwill take on renewed importance.

Nashville, Tennessee particularly distinguished itself in our survey, ranking as the city most likely to perform three of the top friendly actions: holding doors, holding elevators, and offering compliments. This concentration of prosocial behaviors helps explain why Nashville, despite not ranking among the absolute top cities overall, still placed within the top 10 friendliest cities.

Selective Friendliness: How Cities Treat Different Groups

Our research revealed an intriguing pattern: friendliness is not distributed equally. In fact, 80% of respondents indicated that residents in their cities demonstrated greater friendliness toward fellow locals than toward strangers. This suggests that American urban friendliness often operates within an in-group/out-group dynamic that newcomers and visitors may need to navigate.

However, some cities displayed more consistent friendliness across different recipient categories. El Paso, Texas emerged as particularly welcoming, ranking as the friendliest city toward both strangers and children—suggesting a broadly inclusive approach to community warmth that extends beyond established social circles.

Cities Friendliest to Pets

Austin, TX
Denver, CO
San Diego, CA
Washington, D.C.
Nashville, TN

Austin claimed the top spot for pet friendliness, reflecting its reputation for dog parks, pet-friendly venues, and community events centered around animal companions. The city's outdoor-oriented lifestyle and numerous pet-accommodating businesses likely contribute to this perception.

Cities Friendliest to Children

El Paso, TX
Charlotte, NC
Austin, TX
Oklahoma City, OK
Nashville, TN (tied with San Jose, CA)

El Paso's top ranking for child-friendliness aligns with its strong family values and community-centered culture. The city's numerous family events, accessible public spaces, and cultural emphasis on intergenerational interaction likely contribute to this perception.

Cities Friendliest to Strangers

El Paso, TX
San Antonio, TX
Charlotte, NC
Austin, TX
Columbus, OH

El Paso again leads the category, challenging stereotypes about border cities and highlighting the welcoming spirit of this diverse community. The fact that four of the five most stranger-friendly cities are in the South or Southwest suggests regional cultural differences in approaching outsiders.

The Language of Friendliness

Verbal communication plays a crucial role in establishing and maintaining community connections. Our survey identified specific verbal interactions that Americans associate with friendliness in their cities. These communication patterns reveal how language functions as a community-building tool in different urban environments.

Cities Most Likely to Greet New Neighbors

Fort Worth, TX
Charlotte, NC
San Antonio, TX
Austin, TX
Jacksonville, FL

Fort Worth's top ranking aligns with Texas' reputation for hospitality and community orientation. This proactive welcoming behavior helps integrate newcomers into existing social networks, potentially easing the transition to a new community.

Cities Most Likely to Acknowledge Strangers in Public

Fort Worth, TX
Charlotte, NC
Columbus, OH
El Paso, TX
San Antonio, TX

Again, Fort Worth leads this category, demonstrating consistency in its residents' friendly behaviors toward strangers. This simple acknowledgment of others' presence—whether through eye contact, a nod, or a greeting—creates a foundation for potential community connection.

Cities Most Likely to Offer Compliments

Nashville, TN
Austin, TX
Charlotte, NC
Oklahoma City, OK
San Antonio, TX

Nashville's high ranking may reflect the city's vibrant social scene and hospitality-oriented culture. Verbal affirmation through compliments creates positive social feedback loops that encourage further friendly interactions.

Cities Most Willing to Listen to Strangers' Problems

El Paso, TX
San Antonio, TX
Fort Worth, TX
Denver, CO
Austin, TX

El Paso's empathetic stance toward strangers demonstrates a particularly deep form of community care that extends beyond superficial interactions. This willingness to engage with others' difficulties reflects a community orientation that values human connection over efficiency or privacy.

Cities Most Helpful with Language Translation

El Paso, TX
San Antonio, TX
San Jose, CA
Los Angeles, CA
New York City, NY

Notably, cities with large multilingual populations ranked highest in this category. El Paso and San Antonio's high rankings reflect their border proximity and bilingual populations, while San Jose, Los Angeles, and New York's positions highlight their multicultural character.

Friendly Actions in Urban Environments

Beyond verbal interactions, physical gestures of consideration significantly impact perceptions of urban friendliness. Our survey identified specific actions that Americans associate with community warmth and mutual support.

Cities Most Likely to Hold Doors

Nashville, TN
Columbus, OH
Fort Worth, TX
Charlotte, NC
Austin, TX

This seemingly minor courtesy serves as a fundamental acknowledgment of others' presence and comfort in shared spaces.

Cities Most Likely to Hold Elevators

Nashville, TN
Oklahoma City, OK
Indianapolis, IN
Columbus, OH
Fort Worth, TX

This action—prioritizing others' convenience over one's own time—signals community values that place collective welfare above strict individualism.

Cities Most Likely to Give Up Seats in Public

Charlotte, NC
El Paso, TX
San Antonio, TX
Austin, TX
San Diego, CA

This behavior particularly benefits vulnerable populations like elderly individuals, pregnant women, and people with disabilities—making it a crucial indicator of community inclusivity.

Cities Most Likely to Volunteer

San Antonio, TX
Austin, TX
Nashville, TN
Houston, TX
Fort Worth, TX

Volunteerism represents perhaps the most substantive form of community investment, requiring significant time and energy commitment beyond momentary courtesies.

Cities Most Likely to Assist with Neighbors' Mail

San Antonio, TX
Charlotte, NC
Austin, TX
Columbus, OH
Dallas, TX

This neighborly assistance requires trust and reciprocity—core components of functioning communities—and signals willingness to invest in proximate relationships.

Cities Most Likely to Take Strangers' Photos

San Diego, CA
Nashville, TN
Charlotte, NC
Austin, TX
Denver, CO

This tourist-oriented courtesy reflects openness to assisting visitors, potentially enhancing a city's reputation for hospitality.

The Regional Character of American Friendliness

A clear geographic pattern emerged from our research: Southern cities consistently outperformed other regions across almost all friendliness categories. This lends empirical support to the concept of "Southern hospitality" as more than mere stereotype.

Texas cities particularly dominated our rankings, with Austin, San Antonio, El Paso, Fort Worth, Dallas, and Houston all appearing repeatedly across different friendliness categories. This concentration suggests a regional cultural emphasis on interpersonal warmth and community connection that transcends city boundaries.

While coastal cities generally ranked lower in overall friendliness, California presented a more nuanced picture. San Diego consistently ranked among the friendlier cities, while San Francisco received much lower ratings. This suggests that regional patterns, while significant, don't tell the complete story—individual city cultures matter substantially.

The Impact of Demographic Factors

Our analysis revealed several demographic correlations with perceived urban friendliness:

Cities with slower population growth generally received higher friendliness ratings, suggesting that rapid urban expansion may challenge community cohesion
Cities with lower population density typically scored better on friendliness metrics, possibly due to less anonymity and crowding stress
Cities with lower cost of living generally ranked higher in friendliness categories, potentially because economic pressure may reduce bandwidth for community investment
Cities with higher residential stability (lower population turnover) generally received better friendliness scores, suggesting that community relationships develop more fully when people remain in place

These correlations suggest that urban policy decisions impacting growth, density, affordability, and residential stability may indirectly influence community social climate.

The Technological Impact on Urban Friendliness

In an era where digital communication increasingly displaces face-to-face interaction, our research reveals an intriguing countertrend: traditional, analog forms of friendliness remain highly valued. The friendly behaviors most appreciated by respondents—holding doors, offering directions, acknowledging others in public—all require physical presence and direct interpersonal engagement.

This finding suggests potential concerns about how technology-mediated communication may impact community cohesion. As urban residents increasingly interact through digital interfaces rather than physical spaces, the opportunities for these valued friendly behaviors diminish. Cities seeking to foster friendliness may need to deliberately create environments and events that facilitate face-to-face engagement despite technological trends pushing in the opposite direction.

Interestingly, cities with robust tech sectors like Seattle and San Francisco ranked among the least friendly in our survey. While correlation doesn't prove causation, this pattern raises questions about how tech-centric cultures may influence community norms around interpersonal interaction.

The Economic Value of Urban Friendliness

Beyond its inherent social benefits, urban friendliness likely carries significant economic implications. Research in economic geography suggests that cities with stronger social capital—the networks of relationships among residents—often demonstrate greater economic resilience during downturns, higher rates of entrepreneurship, and more effective governance.

The friendly cities identified in our research may therefore possess an underappreciated economic advantage. Austin's top ranking for friendliness aligns with its economic dynamism and growth, suggesting possible connections between social climate and economic performance.

For economic development professionals, our findings imply that cultivating community warmth and connection should be considered alongside traditional economic development strategies. Cities seeking to attract both businesses and talent may find that investments in community-building yield dividends beyond mere quality of life improvements.

Practical Applications for Urban Residents

For individuals seeking more community connection, our research offers practical guidance about specific behaviors that effectively signal and generate friendliness:

Prioritize simple acknowledgments: Greeting neighbors, making eye contact, and acknowledging others in public spaces requires minimal effort but meaningfully signals community belonging
Offer small assistances: Holding doors/elevators, providing directions, and taking photos for tourists represent low-cost ways to contribute to community warmth
Engage verbally: Complimenting others, greeting new neighbors, and engaging in brief conversations creates relationship foundations that can develop further
Invest more deeply when possible: Community volunteering, helping neighbors with mail/packages, and listening to others' concerns build stronger community bonds that enhance resilience

These behaviors, while individually small, collectively create the social fabric that transforms urban spaces from mere population centers into genuine communities.

Methodology

This nationwide survey was conducted on June 27, 2023, collecting responses from 1,258 Americans regarding their perceptions of urban friendliness. Respondents resided in the 25 most populous U.S. cities and ranged in age from 18 to 76 years old. The sample included 49% female, 49% male, and 2% nonbinary participants, ensuring broad demographic representation.

Respondents rated their city's friendliness on a 1-10 scale across multiple dimensions and reported on the frequency of specific friendly behaviors in their urban environment. This multifaceted approach allowed for nuanced analysis of both perceived friendliness and concrete behavioral indicators across different metropolitan areas.

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